Coping With Crochet

Posted: April 28, 2018 in Uncategorized

Today has been a rough day. This morning I learned that one of my oldest friends, Darien Marshall, had died earlier today. My heart is broken. In and out of tears all day, I wasn’t able to get anything done that I had planned – including things for the website.

After I finally got myself back out of bed around 4pm I took myself out to get something to eat. Afterwards, I sat in Panera Bread with a cup of coffee and a cake of yarn. I sat there for a while dazed looking at the yarn dazed trying not to melt into a puddle. Then I took out a hook and started to crochet. I only crocheted for 15 or 20 minutes before I just had to get out of there.

I came home and the tears came washing out of me. I checked Facebook and read the messages of condolence from some who had seen my post about my friend. After getting through that crying bout, I sat on the couch and pulled out the yarn again. I continued on the triangle I had started earlier.It’s just a simple double crochet triangle. I’m finding something soothing about making double crochet over and over again. It’s an easy rhythm. I can almost do it while forgetting that I’m doing it – like breathing. Just a steady movement that becomes automatic after a while.

As I crochet this triangle I think about Darien and how precious life is. We don’t know when it will come to an end. Makes me wonder…Am I using my life in the best way I can? What if my life were to end today? Would I have any regrets? Maybe by the time I finish turning this yarn into a triangle I’ll have an answer. Maybe I’ll feel better that my friend is gone. Maybe not. But just sitting and crocheting is helping me cope with what I’m feeling now.

Darien, I wasn’t ready for you to be gone. You will be missed. I love you!

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